Peer Review – Tamara Sibbald
“Hello, Tamara! This was an interesting critique of Picasso’s Nude in a Rocking Chair. I quite like how you mention the strokes and thick lines of the piece along with the colours: particularly on how the green is sickly. The words you use to describe the picture such as “disjointed” and “mal-aligned” are also nice touches to describe the appearance of the nude.
Constructively, the writing of the critique itself is pretty interesting with how fragmented and disjointed it is. Though there are a few times I didn’t quite understand what the sentence was trying to convey such as this line: “Anger resounding through the think lines of her breasts and stomach- a new kind of face to put on for the world.” I wasn’t sure if you were referring to how the nude itself is a new face to the world, or if you were referring to how the body parts of the nude made up a face.
Either way, lovely critique, and intriguing style of writing to match it!”
Nude in a Rocking Chair
Peer Review – Sarah Azzopardi
“Hey Sarah, this was an interesting poem to read. What makes it interesting to me is the pointing out of how idiotic it is for people to deem a language “superior” to another. As you clearly put out in the line, “See even ‘proper’ English holds no originality of its own/From Greek and Latin and Arabic is where it had been made,” languages even borrow from other languages.
However, something that somewhat makes me uneasy is the definition of what an “Australian” is. The tone is patriotic, which is fine, but while some people, like myself, define an Australian as someone who’s basically born and raised in Australia, others will define a “true” Australian as the Indigenous people and will dismiss phrases such as “good ol’ Aussie way” and even the iconic phrase “g’day” since when someone talks about “Australian people”, the Aborigines seldom come to mind but rather “bogan” culture. Especially adding to the prospect of native tongues and diminishing languages, the poem starts to take a grave and even grim atmosphere, though I am unsure if that was your intention.
Regardless, I still find this an interesting read and an intriguing poem to read. Well done.”
Blog 9 – Nation, Race and Language
Peer Review – Alexandra Poeder
“Hey, Alexandra! Your piece here was quite short, but it was succinct. I understood that there were something to do with stealing, and I got the feeling of anxiety and internal conflict between doing the deed and being morally correct. This line, in particular, struck out to me the most: “My mind was torn between the excitement of the praise I would receive and the feelings of elation I would experience when I would be seen wearing them, verses the guilt of stealing.” I liked how there were two positives but one negative included: it reminds me of the phrase, “Two wrongs don’t make a right,” which alludes to how a wrong action is far heavier than the positives you’ll feel. Especially if the wrong deed questions your morals and principles.
However, there is one error that did confuse me a little on first glance. “…holding me back from doing what I knew to be morally correct.” -> I think you meant “morally incorrect” since it seems like you’re talking about how something inside you is stopping yourself from stealing. Other than that, good job!”
Peer Review – Natasha Hart
“I like the subject matter being a soldier who’s gone through war, and the suffering he feels. The final stanza really stands out to me the most, namely these two lines: “I am no longer who I thought I was before/Become have I War’s battle whore ” Namely because the word “whore” is usually associated with a woman. However here it’s associated with what I assume is a man, anyway. It’s a good display to show how harmful war is, along with the whole stereotyping of soldiers needing to be indifferent war machines and how a man has to play his role in society.
Though I notice with this line: “To hide and cry next to my mothers breast”, shouldn’t there be an apostrophe for mother?
That saying so, a really nice little poem.”
These fragments I have shored against my ruin
Peer Review – Brendon Johnson
“The insight of Bowery was a really good piece of information. Namely, because when I first saw the artwork by Freud, I wasn’t so captivated or drawn in by it. Now, I do have a bit more respect and interest to Freud’s painting namely because of more information about the subject matter, that being Bowery, and how he, the artist, became the artwork. He is the subject and all eyes are drawn onto him.
This particular phrase also caught my attention: “At least I have a reaction to his pieces which is the main thing!” Namely because if an artwork has achieved a reaction of any kind, positive or negative, then it has fulfilled its core purpose. At least, that is my opinion on what I feel is the core purpose of creating an artwork: invoking a reaction.”
Ich Bin Kunst…I am Art
Peer Review – Paul Nguyen
“Hey Paul, I really like how you start the letter off a bit light in tone, then things get more serious once we settle in. It’s good for breaking the ice, yet there is also a tone that’s reassuring. Particularly when you point out the glaring point and truth that really, war is something made just because of an unacceptance of different opinions. Because it seems nowadays, sadly, people cannot accept that they can be wrong, it’s okay to be wrong, and that there is nothing wrong with it. What indeed matters most is that fundamentality of just being a human – being empathetic and kind.”
Week 4: Blog 2
Peer Review – Annabelle Barns-Lischa
“Your letter for Owen is quite analytical yet also simple and to the point. And it’s a point that needs to be remembered today considering the increasing bouts of violence in the world today. War isn’t going to accomplish anything but needless deaths where people will be forgotten, and the ones who do remember them grieving.
It’s also lovely how the picture you picked had to do with the poem – it really hammers home the point that it doesn’t matter if someone is acknowledged as a hero in war – what about the million others that were not, and will not, be remembered? Plus, the inclusion of the candles is a good allegory for a person. A candle’s flame easily goes out: which matches that a person’s life can just as easily be taken away.”
W4 Anthem for a Doomed Youth